Everyone, I’m in serious trouble here.  Does anyone know of a twelve-step program for Gadgetaholics?  My husband’s obsession is searching the Internet for new and interesting gadgets, which he promptly purchases.  Since I have been laid up with my last two hip surgeries, I can understand the Roomba (robot vacuum).  However, why does he need THREE flashlights of varying sizes attached to plug-in rechargers by his bed?  He only has two hands.

And what is with this new thing that will turn off all the lights in the house one by one (it has to have a code or something) from his bed?  For Christmas, I asked him if he had any particular requests.  He responded that I should check his wish list on Amazon.  There was something called a Dremel.  Because he had been so generous to me, I ordered it, having no idea what it was.  On Christmas morning I asked him, and he said it was “something that would get into little tiny places.”  Whatever that means.

When Jack came for Christmas, David bought this ridiculous blue thing that you hold up and aim at someone.  When you activate it, it sends an “air bomb” that will ruffle the target’s hair.  I mean, I ask you!

The other night was the absolute limit.  We were sitting in bed talking (about the need for all those flashlights) when suddenly a police siren went off in our bedroom.  We were both quite startled, as you can imagine.  I looked closely at the flashlights, thinking that was the logical place for some reason.  He checked the alarms.  Nada.  Finally, the source of the racket was discovered to be his I-Phone, which was warning him of a speed trap way down in the valley next to the freeway.  We live on the bench above Provo.  I don’t think I’ve ever laughed so hard.  I mean, really!  It was eleven p.m. and I think it would have served him right if it had awakened him!

Does anyone have a cure?

POSTCRIPT:  In the very few hours since I have posted this, my son arrived with a black bag.  “Here’s your computer, Dad.”  As I processed this during dinner, I realized that all three of our computers were present and accounted for.  After dinner, I said in dulcet tones, “Is this a new computer?”  His brown eyes were innocent as he said, “It’s used.”  He has just bought a new gadget: a Mac Computer.  I am so excited.  I have always wanted a Mac.  I can hardly wait to use it.